May 8th!
I thought I would post what is going on:

Not a whole lot. haha.

Margo and I have a new member of our family whom we are looking after "indefinitely". A 5 year old Calico named Peaches. Peaches is beautiful, but she likes to wake us up at 4am to be let outside. When she wants back in, she jumps on the screen outside our bedroom window. She is really LOUD, and she knows you are trying to ignore her, so she gets LOUDER!!! But she is sweet.

Work is busy as always. I've been doing a lot of cataloguing as well as doing a lot of reference work for the bosses of the province.

Heroes was AWESOME this week, Lost was pretty fantastic as well.

Vancouver - Ducks series has been wicked to watch, mostly because I will be happy with whichever team wins. Actually, I hope whomever wins will go on to win the cup. Its a toss-up between Giggy and Luongo. Ducks have more firepower though. Ottawa and Jersey, I kind of wish they could just knock each other out of the playoffs. Love Brodeur, I have a severe dislike for Emery. He should take up boxing, maybe.

Finally, new Elliott Smith is out next week! I know you are all just as excited for this release as I am! We will have a listening party which will culminate in our stabbing ourselves to death from its beauty.

This weekend: Cuban Rum and boxing event at the Coliseum! I will be boxing, sporting my new Ironman outfit!

"He isn’t in love with me :( and we don’t live happily ever after"

So last fall, one of my best friends and his girlfriend broke up shortly after becoming engaged. They had bought a house together, a car, two cats and a chocolate lab of a puppy. He loved her, but he wasn't IN love with her, and needed to stop their relationship before the point of no return.

A month or so later, after she had moved into a new place with their dog, he came back. She was unsure, but they spent a lot of time working on his issues, and her on rebuilding her trust of him. I was really saddened by their break-up, because I loved them both a lot, and they were a great couple for M. and I to hang out with. I was encouraged by their working it out. I had started a song about their breakup called 'The Ballad of the Two that are No More'.

I told her that I had the music, first verse and chorus for the song but that I was having a hard time finishing the song, because their story was still in the works, and I didn't know how it would end. Then I got an email from her at lunch today.

Subject: I have an ending for your song:

He isn’t in love with me L and we don’t live happily ever after.

L.

Here is the chorus for my song.

Maybe someday, after I've done the things I'm 'sposed to do;

My head wants to stay, so why does my heart insist on leaving you?

Maybe (you'll wait) someday.

I am very sad.

Punk Rock Love Is...single, battery acid, tear

Punk Rock Love Is... - Aaron Cometbus wrote Punk Rock Love and this article has been posted all around the internet. 'Punk rock love is fucking behind the dumpster down the street from the show. Fucking in the shower at the Hotel Carlton. Making out in the recycle bin. Looking at her tattoos while she's asleep. Taking showers together. Playing checkers with cigarette butts. Watching her band play. Dumpstering veggies together and then going back to her place and cooking up a feast. Knowing the same parts of the same songs. Both of you having the same ex-girlfriend. Punk rock love is having to tie her shoes for her cuz she's too drunk. Kissing under the overpass. Her sending you her whole diary to read. Her giving you ten rolls of duct tape for your birthday. Her beating up skinheads. Going to the prom on her motorcycle and checking in the helmets at the coatcheck. Getting astonished stares from all the jocks who thought you were gay, now they feel dumb cuz you're with an older punk rock bombshell and they're with their friend's little sister. Punk rock love is meeting her outside the club and her saying come home with me or I'm gonna kick your fuckin ass. Going home with her and she almost kicks your ass anyway. Sharing hairdye. Riding double on a bike. Being loud and not caring. Sneaky eyes and sleeveless t-shirts. The sun coming up and you realizing that there's other people on the beach. A good sleazy one week stand. Still being friends afterwards, most of the time. Punk rock love is her sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet you in the park. Running your fingers over her spikey hair. Her chewing on a flower and you having to call poison control when her tongue swells up. Bringing her to the laundromat for a date. Sharing a sleeping bag and waking up freezing in the middle of the night and her, bleary eyed, trying to heat it up with a blowdrier. Social Unrest playing "Ever Fallen in Love?" at the gig you're both at the night after she dumps you hard. Starting smoking again after that night. Punk rock love is her drawing on you. Her sleeping on your back. Her being mad at you for being such a jerk. Her thinking it's cool that you stink and your hair stands up by itself. Her having weird roommates who worship eggs. You waiting in the doorway for hours hoping she might pass by. Even in the snow. Her singing along with Descendents records over the air on her late night radio show. Her picture on the front page of the morning paper, getting arrested. Her borrowing your favorite black hat and never giving it back. Punk rock love is finding a girl who drinks as much coffee as you do. Going into the cafe where she works and she looks up and smiles and doesn't notice as she trips over a pile of 50 dishes. They hit the floor one by one and when it's all done everyone in the cafe applauds and you both turn beet red. Punk rock love is both of you doing fanzines. Years later her teaching English to college freshmen, you still doing fanzines. Her wearing glasses through her eyes are fine, using crutches though her legs are fine, and talking with a fake speech impediment. You just thinking it's rad girl style, until later when someone brings up the concept of self-imposed handicaps. Punk rock love is getting your first kiss and almost losing your virginity at the same time, meanwhile you're trying not to wake up the other person sleeping in the same bed. Groping in the bushes by the freeway and later you realize that all the passing cars could see you. Exploring the wasteland together. holding hands out on the fire escape. Lying in the grass in her backyard. Lying on the astroturf in her bedroom. Drinking tequila on her porch, on your birthday. Riding on her motorcylce early in the cold morning and you're holding on tight and steam is rising off of the river and you're thinking how she is maybe even better than the Ramones. Punk rock love is both being broke. Love letters. Finding out she sang "Stay Free" at her high school talent show. Finding out she's a little crazier than you thought when you finally get her in bed. Her boyfriend getting mad. Walking around with her and her nephew and everyone giving you dirty looks cuz they think he's your kid. Walking around with her and being happy and proud. Being sad together. Being sad by yourself. Missing her.'

...I always wanted a girl to sing Descendants with me!

Poor naked wretches, wheresoe'er you are,

Today is Robert Burns day!


I was never big on poetry, but for some reason this Scottish Bard always done it for me...








A Bard's Epitaph

Is there a whim-inspired fool, Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule, Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool, Let him draw near; And owre this grassy heap sing dool, And drap a tear.

Is there a bard of rustic song, Who, noteless, steals the crowds among, That weekly this area throng, O, pass not by! But, with a frater-feeling strong, Here, heave a sigh.

Is there a man, whose judgment clear Can others teach the course to steer, Yet runs, himself, life's mad career, Wild as the wave, Here pause-and, thro' the starting tear, Survey this grave.

The poor inhabitant below Was quick to learn the wise to know, And keenly felt the friendly glow, And softer flame; But thoughtless follies laid him low, And stain'd his name!

Reader, attend! whether thy soul Soars fancy's flights beyond the pole, Or darkling grubs this earthly hole, In low pursuit: Know, prudent, cautious, self-control Is wisdom's root.

This Just in From Microsoft:

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed such other undesirable programs as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0.
and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do ????

Signed, Desperate


===========================


Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will automatically download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background which will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Suppor

It's all in the reflexes...

A week since my last post.

'A family a tomatoes were walking down the road, when the baby tomatoe starts falling behind. The mama tomatoe turns around and steps on the baby tomatoe. Mama tomatoe says ''Ketchup''. '

Last weekend was fucking sexcellent. My show at the Crapital was wonderful. Lots of friends showed up and stood right up front where I can see them, including the lovely Dirthots. After my set, which I thought went quite well, barring a couple small fuck-ups, the best part of the night was getting to talk to each of the girls. They are delicious, sho 'nuff.

Saturday night was okay. Went over to my bro's place and hung out with Colin and Shauna (although Colin was being a little 'I'm not in the mood', my bro, who wasn't feeling well and eventually kicked us out, and a couple of Amandas. We headed to the Capital where Jen Grant and Tanya Davis was playing. I told a bunch of people how amazing Jen Grant sounds, she's a folk pop princess from Halifax. And she is amazingly gorgeous in real life. Drunkenly I went up to her while she was talking with Kyle Cunjak and confessed my love for her, haha, (well, my musical love). She was very gracious, and thanked me profusely. Nothing like talking to musicians when you are hammered.

Week has been pretty uneventful - no truck-towing, no hair-cutting, no rib bruising...oh wait, yeah there was. At hockey last night, half the team were on fucking patrol (they are city cops), and nobody showed up. We had like 1-2 spares. The team we have beaten twice consecutively hammered us. I got one slapshot in the chest at the end of the first, and today it hurts to breathe. Also got an email from my buddy DJ Scout (Jody W.) who is the executive chef at the Back Nine. I was talking to him one night about how great Dub Antennae is and that I really wanted to start up a ska/dub band, like Sublime/Asian Dub Foundation. So I think we're going to start that up soon. I have a bass player, need a drummer, need a few more songs to start.

For the love of God, anyone reading this should check out lily allen from the U.K.: British pop-raggae. Amazing voice. And she can spit on the mic like Lady Sovereign. Word.

Friday Night, Live, at the Crapital...

Hey folks. Just a few notes:

Last night our hockey team won 6-0. This puts me into the league shut-out leader with two. We are 2 points out of .500!!! What a comeback folks, truly I am a stellar goalie.

Moving on, while my ego is raging, I will be performing this Friday night at the Capital. I will be opening for Shelter the Thieves, and Air Traffic Control. But you know you want to come and see me. I promise to have a new original, a new cover (it's a secret, but there is an obvious hint located in this post), and we'll see what else I can come up with by tomorrow.

love it.

I am also truly excited to have guest appearances by the dead-sexy Dirty Hot Bloggers. I'm sure this will be a make-or-break point in our relationship ladies. I hope you enjoy.

Other than that, do you not think Sinead O'Connor is absolutely gorgeous? Yay, nay? Lemme know. See y'all tomorrow night.