Poor naked wretches, wheresoe'er you are,

Today is Robert Burns day!


I was never big on poetry, but for some reason this Scottish Bard always done it for me...








A Bard's Epitaph

Is there a whim-inspired fool, Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule, Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool, Let him draw near; And owre this grassy heap sing dool, And drap a tear.

Is there a bard of rustic song, Who, noteless, steals the crowds among, That weekly this area throng, O, pass not by! But, with a frater-feeling strong, Here, heave a sigh.

Is there a man, whose judgment clear Can others teach the course to steer, Yet runs, himself, life's mad career, Wild as the wave, Here pause-and, thro' the starting tear, Survey this grave.

The poor inhabitant below Was quick to learn the wise to know, And keenly felt the friendly glow, And softer flame; But thoughtless follies laid him low, And stain'd his name!

Reader, attend! whether thy soul Soars fancy's flights beyond the pole, Or darkling grubs this earthly hole, In low pursuit: Know, prudent, cautious, self-control Is wisdom's root.

This Just in From Microsoft:

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed such other undesirable programs as NHL 5.0, NFL 3.0.
and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do ????

Signed, Desperate


===========================


Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will automatically download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background which will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Suppor

It's all in the reflexes...

A week since my last post.

'A family a tomatoes were walking down the road, when the baby tomatoe starts falling behind. The mama tomatoe turns around and steps on the baby tomatoe. Mama tomatoe says ''Ketchup''. '

Last weekend was fucking sexcellent. My show at the Crapital was wonderful. Lots of friends showed up and stood right up front where I can see them, including the lovely Dirthots. After my set, which I thought went quite well, barring a couple small fuck-ups, the best part of the night was getting to talk to each of the girls. They are delicious, sho 'nuff.

Saturday night was okay. Went over to my bro's place and hung out with Colin and Shauna (although Colin was being a little 'I'm not in the mood', my bro, who wasn't feeling well and eventually kicked us out, and a couple of Amandas. We headed to the Capital where Jen Grant and Tanya Davis was playing. I told a bunch of people how amazing Jen Grant sounds, she's a folk pop princess from Halifax. And she is amazingly gorgeous in real life. Drunkenly I went up to her while she was talking with Kyle Cunjak and confessed my love for her, haha, (well, my musical love). She was very gracious, and thanked me profusely. Nothing like talking to musicians when you are hammered.

Week has been pretty uneventful - no truck-towing, no hair-cutting, no rib bruising...oh wait, yeah there was. At hockey last night, half the team were on fucking patrol (they are city cops), and nobody showed up. We had like 1-2 spares. The team we have beaten twice consecutively hammered us. I got one slapshot in the chest at the end of the first, and today it hurts to breathe. Also got an email from my buddy DJ Scout (Jody W.) who is the executive chef at the Back Nine. I was talking to him one night about how great Dub Antennae is and that I really wanted to start up a ska/dub band, like Sublime/Asian Dub Foundation. So I think we're going to start that up soon. I have a bass player, need a drummer, need a few more songs to start.

For the love of God, anyone reading this should check out lily allen from the U.K.: British pop-raggae. Amazing voice. And she can spit on the mic like Lady Sovereign. Word.

Friday Night, Live, at the Crapital...

Hey folks. Just a few notes:

Last night our hockey team won 6-0. This puts me into the league shut-out leader with two. We are 2 points out of .500!!! What a comeback folks, truly I am a stellar goalie.

Moving on, while my ego is raging, I will be performing this Friday night at the Capital. I will be opening for Shelter the Thieves, and Air Traffic Control. But you know you want to come and see me. I promise to have a new original, a new cover (it's a secret, but there is an obvious hint located in this post), and we'll see what else I can come up with by tomorrow.

love it.

I am also truly excited to have guest appearances by the dead-sexy Dirty Hot Bloggers. I'm sure this will be a make-or-break point in our relationship ladies. I hope you enjoy.

Other than that, do you not think Sinead O'Connor is absolutely gorgeous? Yay, nay? Lemme know. See y'all tomorrow night.

Posting...check one two, posting...

A New Year, A New Dawn...

Okay, so to your right, you see me, as the year began. I 27 year old apartment renter, hourly wage earner, still punk rocking J. Bo. I started 2006 with a very nice, if I do say so myself, piece of bling on my girl of 10 years finger, living in the most beautiful apartment in Freddy Beach. I was working at what had been my most tolerable (and sometimes even enjoyable) job in years as a media monitor at Bowdens. I carried a couple more pounds than I had wanted, but I had also resolved that I could really make a place for myself in Fredericton, N. B., and I didn't have to run anymore. Just make here - better.

Then the image on the left began to emerge. M. was quite happy with me, we really started to enjoy and understand each other, listen, be compassionate. Yeah, I still acted like a 19 year old on occassion, but the instances became fewer and farther between. We continued to plan our wedding. One day in the spring, Margo took me out to this spot off of the lincoln road just beside the experimental farm. It was a quasi-thoroughfare, felled trees covered a hidden ground. She pointed to a spot and said to me 'what do you think of this place?'. We had been looking at houses and new developments around town. She wanted a house. I said, 'wow, what a nice spot. Close to town, close to Oromocto. I could live here,'. She said 'good, because I bought it.'

And so, on top of planning a wedding, we began plans to build a house. My aunt who is an architect for a company in town met with us once a week and helped us design not a starter house, but pretty near a dream home.

My grandfather, the only one I had known passed away at 91 or 92 years of age. He was a strong, short, stocky man. Only a matter of 5 years ago, he could squeeze my hand until it hurt. He was a Christmas tree farmer, and a water witch. His health had failed him, and it was getting exceedingly harder to care for him. When he did pass, the doctors said that he had the blood pressure of a strong teenager. Charlie Williams was if anything, strong, caring and resiliant.

M. and I were married on August 18th at St. Dunstan's church, downtown. We had the full Catholic mass that I had wanted. It was a little hot, but went off without a hitch. The reception was at Kingswood Lodge and it was pretty close to perfect. Highlights include my father, brother and I serenading M., having 98% of the most important people in our lives there, dancing our first dance to Sarah Harmer, and of course, the Prime Rib.

A month before the wedding, I was offered a job, in a library, for the provincial gov. I had applied and interviewed twice for this job over the past two years. This time, I wasn't second place. It was the job I had pined for: because it was the career path I was most sure of, because it offered security for my wife, and damnit, I could now afford this house we were building!

The year was littered with playing Canada Day on the river all by myself, singing a song for my favourite Canadian songwriter while he played guitar (it was his song!), rum with my brother, a nice seaside honeymoon in Ogunquit Maine, drama, and resolution.

2006 was the best year on record.